I hate feeling lonely.
May 16, 2013
I’m freaking out. I can’t get this out of my head. I don’t understand. Why. Please. I’m so lost and confused. I need help. I can’t do this. Why. Why.
I hate life.
I never really understood what unconditional love was, or how you loved each and everyone with so much of it. But ever since i’ve met him, or ever since you’ve given me a chance to be with this incredible guy, i’ve been introduced to unconditional love. I feel it.
I now know what it feels like to want to be with someone, to want to make someone so happy no matter the circumstances. I know what it feels like to want to talk to someone for the sake of talking and making sure their day went well. I know now what it feels like to crave for someones touch at the loneliest hours. I know who can cheer me up at my worst and who can enjoy me at my best. Everything about it, is just so great, God. He makes me work harder, he makes me enjoy life better, he makes me appreciate things more. Because of him, i am someone better. Everything about it is so wonderful.. And i owe it all to you, God. I don’t know how or why i deserve him. But thank you.
God, i pray to you that you give me all the strength to treat him right. To love him at his worst and his best. To fight for him and care for him. Help me to refrain from jealousy, or worry and to always strength the relationship, not damage.
I love him, God. Very much. He has become such a great part of me. We have created so many memories and hopefully many more come. Loosing him would be like loosing a part of me. No one to talk to or share how my day went. Days left without good mornings or goodnights.. Most painfully.. loosing my first love as well as my best friend..
I don’t exactly know, God how people handle love. It’s so scary. One day things could just end and you’d never see it coming.. And i fear that the most.. But i pray, that you guide me and help me.. to be the best i can be for him..
And i also pray.. that he feels the same..
Wisdom teeth pulled out. Thanks my love for spending the evening with me (: i love you and you are the best <3
I love my boyfriend. I’m so lucky to have him, thank you God.
I thought i was done crying.. I guess not.
I’m a fuckin screw up.
It’s amazing how we’re capable of falling in love. I mean, think about it, certain things about someone, the way the look, the way they smell, dress, laugh, smile, eat.. the way they are or everything they ever will be, you grow to love.. It’s crazy that someone could even feel such a thing. I never really paid attention, but one day, i looked at you, how we were and how you made me feel, and damn, i love you.
You make me believe in the most unbelievable things. You make me want to stay up all night.. Just so i could talk to you for hours and strip your mind and get to know you. The you that no on else knows. You make me want to learn how to cook just so i could cook for you. You make me want to learn all your favourite songs and games just so i could sing and play with you.
Everything about you, i can’t get enough of. I guess my point is, i’m just so amazed at how much i love you. I never thought it was possible to love someone this much.